What is it??

What is it i keep on thinking every time every second of my life? and have no words to express it...
I feel as if i have gone mummm deep inside my heart...
Nothing makes me worry about anything now...
No actually i do but what is it....??
Is it about the love, relationship, friends ..or family or just about ME myself..I....??
No answer..every night pass away thinking about all the questions...
With a hope of new sunrise in my life...
Getting answers to all questions....
Everyday i wake up in the morning with a new hope...
That all will be fine and everything will work in favor of good....
Everyday i smile up to the sky and say i know i ll be alright...
It feels essence have just vanished from my life into the thin air....
At times i feel a life with no emotions..feelings..and just pissed off,...
And i say to my self take me away to a secret place..
to a better days...a better escape ..to a hiding place..
where no one can see me.....
I know i have got myself killed deep inside my heart..
I am not the one i use to be....
But its all ok, with me is it so???? I wonder.....
Everything seems so faded as if the colors aren't anymore..
To feel the colors of my life, i started painting..
tried to understand something, but at the end it felt great....
It feels good when u do something which use to be ur passion at time...
But at the end all i know is, i have lost something
which i dont know how to get that part of mine..
all i have now is silence in my heart..n my words n feelings...
just wish to someone to take me away to better days...
And i ll look up to sky and say i ll be alright.... :)